Stop whining!!

The wine par-tay began innocent enough.

The hors d'oeuvres were c'est magnifique!


The ladies were in high spirits


Then this guy shows up with a bag of balloons and his Swedish balloon pump


And all hell broke loose!

I went on a rampage, destroying any moving object (made of latex)


Mr. Smurfy McKnight was trying to defend the Chalice of Zagnut or some shit; so I feigned right, stepped back, wound up and rolled a 3 on my 12-sided die


...and I got pistol whipped by the old misdirection "hey, your shoe's untied"


Did it get dirty? That balloon is five feet long...



Somehow, re-enacting the scene in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation where the cops roll in on the Griswolds after they abducted bossman Frank Shirley and yell "Freeze!" just doesn't seem quite right here...


We broke the Guinness record for balloon-sword swallowing


I tried to immediately break that record, but it went horribly awry


The party pretty much broke up after that